Hailey and their sweetheart came home with a little spooky season surprise for me.
A small metal friend at the door.
“Knock knock, motherfucker.”
She has a little solar panel on her neck, so at night her eyes glow from inside her little chickeny ghost shroud. I haven’t come up with a good name for her yet but I’m leaning toward “Myrtle Poultry-geist” and on Halloween night I may sit out on my porch with her and hand out deviled eggs. Victor was like, “You can’t give kids deviled eggs” and I was like, “Obviously I’ll offer them a sandwich bag first so they can carry it if they don’t want to eat it immediately. I’m not going to just hand wet eggs to small children. That would be crazy.” And of course, I’ll also offer candy but I wonder if I can get candy eggs and hide them in Myrtle Poultry-geists butt and then pull them out like magic. And then I can ask the kids if they know a good eggs-orcist. Omg, this Halloween is writing itself.
PS. People always ask if I still have Beyonce the Giant Metal Chicken…and yes, of course I do. You don’t just throw away family. She’s now 14 years older and I can see her from my desk as I type. Also, lots of people have reached out to ask if Seth Rogan was giving me a shout-out recently when he said “Knock knock, motherfucker!” in the The Studio, and I really doubt it but wouldn’t that be incredible?
These chickens will cut you.