Why ‘Trying Hard’ Is Cool Again

Date:

Share:

We independently evaluate all recommended products and services. Any products or services put forward appear in no particular order. if you click on links we provide, we may receive compensation.

For a long time, the move was to pretend you didn’t care. To act like things just happened to work out. Like you woke up looking good, got lucky with the job, didn’t really study for the test—but still crushed it.

That mindset was safe. It protected you from embarrassment. If you never tried, you never failed.

But something’s shifting. Trying hard isn’t cringe anymore. It’s real. It’s adult. And it’s starting to look good again.

Why ‘Trying Hard’ Is Cool Again

The Problem with “Effortless” Culture

We grew up in a culture obsessed with looking effortless. The cool guy didn’t need to prepare. The stylish guy just “had it.” The successful guy barely seemed to sweat.

Underneath that was a fear: what if I try and it’s not enough? So we made not trying a defense mechanism.

Effort became suspicious. Caring became embarrassing. And anyone who visibly tried—at style, at work, at relationships—risked being labeled as desperate or try-hard.

But that posture gets old. Eventually, pretending you don’t care starts to look like not caring—and that doesn’t get you anywhere worth going.

Effort Is a Signal — and It Speaks Clearly

Putting effort into how you dress, how you show up, how you treat people isn’t performative—it’s respectful. It says you take yourself seriously enough to put in the work.

When someone shows up sharp, prepared, or thoughtfully put-together, you don’t think, “wow, they’re trying too hard.” You think, “they’ve got their shit together.”

A few months ago, I ran into a guy at a dinner party wearing a well-fitted blazer, clean boots, and no phone in sight. He wasn’t flashy—but he was present. It didn’t feel like a costume. It felt like he took five minutes to respect the room. You could tell he didn’t dress that way for Instagram. He dressed that way because it mattered to him.

That’s what effort signals:

  • Maturity — You care enough to plan ahead
  • Self-respect — You see yourself as someone worth investing in
  • Intention — You’re not drifting, you’re deciding

People might not always notice the specifics. But they always notice the care.

Effort Isn’t About Performance

Trying hard doesn’t mean putting on a show. It doesn’t mean broadcasting every workout or documenting every accomplishment. It means doing the thing whether or not anyone’s watching.

Ironing your shirt before a date—even if you’re nervous

Leaving your phone in the other room during a hard conversation

Spending five extra minutes on your hair because you feel better when it’s done right

None of that is for show. It’s for you.

Quiet effort still counts. It might even count more.

Why ‘Trying Hard’ Is Cool Again

Final Thought

Trying hard isn’t a weakness. It’s not insecurity. It’s not thirst.

It’s care. It’s clarity. It’s showing up on purpose.

Effort is cool again—not because it’s impressive, but because it’s rare. And because it means you’re in your life, not just watching it happen.

So style your hair. Iron the shirt. Prep the thing. Care—even if no one claps.

Source link

Subscribe to our magazine

━ more like this

How to Do Great Work

July 2023If you collected lists of techniques for doing great work in a lot of different fields, what would the intersection look like? I decided to...

Why More Pop Stars Should Be Like Lorde and Disappear for Several Years at a Time

Lorde isn’t the only musician who takes this approach with her release strategy. It took Adele six years to release her fourth album, 30,...

Refinery29 Loves: Everything To See & Shop In July

To paraphrase Lana Del Rey, there’s something special about hot summer nights in July. Whether it’s sipping a spritz on a sunny balcony with...

Analog(ue) #235: Parenting Advice – Relay

#235: Parenting Advice March 8th, 2025 · 84 minutes Before he started paternity leave, Myke asked for advice from some of his co-hosts. Guest Starring: Tom Gerhardt, Stephen Hackett,...

‘The Boys’ Creator Says Final Season Has Wrapped Filming: ‘This Is the Last Time I’ll Ever Be on This Set’

In a heartfelt Instagram post Tuesday night, “The Boys” creator and showrunner Eric Kripke shared that the...